This week in class we are talking about sexuality. In one way or another, whether we personally are sexually active or not, we can all relate to this topic. After doing some thinking and research about what sub-topic to tackle in my blog entry, I stumbled upon this online article on MarieClaire.com called, "Are Women Pressuring One Another To Have Sex Like Men?" that I found pretty interesting. The article is based on the opinions of two sociologists in a book called: Premarital Sex in America: How Young Americans Meet, Mate and Think About Marrying. I will post the link to the article at the very bottom of the blog entry as reference.
In this article and book, it talks specifically about relationships between females and males on college campuses. In higher education, the number of women outweigh the number of men, which some say produces this idea that men have so many options when it comes to who they can date/have sex with that they don't have to settle for a female who won't "put out." Knowing that, women feel pressure to offer sex earlier on in dating and relationships. A great definition of this sad cycle is quoted in the article: "The thinking goes that, since women are so plentiful, a man who isn't getting what he wants from a girl could easily move on to the next." Personally, though it could be true for some, this idea that all men go into dating and relationships for the sole purpose of finding a sex partner seems a bit like a stretch to me, but perhaps I'm naive. What do you think? Do you feel that this collective idea that men push women who are unwilling to have sex aside?
The research given has shown that when young women are having sexual encounters on a man's schedule, instead of their own, they are most often unhappy. Meaning, when starting to date a guy, if the woman feels peer pressure to hurry up and have sex or they will lose the guy, whether they are hearing it from female/male friends or the person they are actually dating, and they follow through with it, they are left unhappy with their decisions. As a result, women are being encouraged to wait to have sex until they are ready and feel comfortable with it.
The co-author of the book, Mark Regnerus, gives somewhat brief descriptions on some of the topics in his book in this article. I'm not going to go through each of the topics and describe what the book says about them, but I do want to talk about one that I feel is the most important for this article, which is how women can resist sexual pressure. A powerful force in a woman's decision to have sex early on in a relationship or not is her network of friends. If a female has a group of friends who have the same thoughts and feelings about not having sex early on in a relationship, it is easier for her to stand her ground on the topic to the male she is in a relationship with. When most women are having sex earlier in their relationships, females who don't wish to find it harder to accomplish. How the people around us are behaving and the decisions we are making are going to effect our next relationships. In the outline of the topic of how men make long-term relationship decisions, Regnerus makes a very interesting statement about men, he says, "Men will do amazing things -- including being patient, winsome and productive -- in pursuit of sex. But they won't if they don't have to." The problem is, women are not putting the pressure on men to commit or to wait to have sex, therefore men are finding it easier to talk girls into have sex earlier.
My questions to you readers are: Do you agree with how the article portrays women as submissive and men as sexually dominant? If not, in what ways do you disagree? Do you agree that there being more women on college campuses is making it easier for men to pursue women only for sexual partners? Do you think females or males are at fault for this "pressure"?
-Rachel Mitts
THE ARTICLE I USED FOR THIS BLOG ENTRY:
ReplyDeletehttp://www.marieclaire.com/sex-love/dating-blog/women-pressures-to-have-sex-like-men
This article is very interesting to me. I have had women gender study classes before and this has always been the main topic. I think the media is to blame for these stereotypes and "pressures" of just being sexual partners. In my eyes women and men are in control of themselves and what they want to do with their partner. On the other hand, living on campus, has made me realize how the ratio of women to men effect how men treat women sexually.
ReplyDeleteI agree with your sentence: “Regnerus makes a very interesting statement about men, he says, "Men will do amazing things -- including being patient, winsome and productive -- in pursuit of sex. But they won't if they don't have to." Women are just as much to blame as men are in these situations, but the pressure in finding a guy like that is hard.
-Molly Ewigman
I think that the article portrays women as submissive and men as sexually dominant because that is how society views the 2 gender roles. I dont personally agree with this view but for the majority of the time it is true. Gender roles are changing now with womens rights movements(in the past we were property to our husbands, rape was considered "property damage"). Now that women are striving to become equals with our male counterparts, we strive to do the things that they traditionally do such as take control of our sex-live.
ReplyDeleteI agree that with the women out-numbering the men, it creates an enviornment where men get to pick and choose. If a man is unhappy with a quality in a woman, most likely he will move on to the next. Men tend to be more sexual than females as well because they usually have a higher sex drive. Combining a high sex drive with a high ratio of woment to men, lots of men will specifically seek out sex partners rather rather than intimate relationships. I don't think males or females are at fault for this pressure becuase each individual is in control of thier own sex-life. If a woman feels like she has to have sex with a man because he will leave her then maybe she is insecure. If a man feels like he has to have sex with so many women then he may be experiencing peer pressure. Either way it is up to the individual to either accept or reject the feelings and/or potential experiences that they may face.
By Seqwinya Stevens
I think this article is very interesting. I have spent time with several girls who have expressed the fear that their men would leave them if they were not "putting out" and I always found it interesting that their men would have very little to say on the topic. I have always had more guy friends than girls, and very few of them have expressed frustration or complaints because their love-interest was not sleeping with them yet. This makes me wonder if it really is just a self-confidence issue in women. I think it is likely that the media helps to perpetuate this idea, through the use of gratuitous sex and sexuality in almost every media, but it can not be all media. I don't think the male/female ratio at colleges these days would be an issue or as much of an issue in the dating mentality if women would show a little more self-confidence and assert themselves in their relationships.
ReplyDeleteI would have to disagree that pursing sex is the sole purpose of a man deciding to get into a relationship. However there are some men who will discontinue a relationship with a female who is unwilling to "put out". This is partially due to the fact that many believe sex plays a big part in relationships. Although in some cases it can infer promiscuity it has become a symbol of trust and comfort within a relationship. Many people who have an intimate relationship consider sex to be a symbol of love and shows their partner that they trust them enough to share a piece of them. As for the men who do not wait around, several may feel that their partner does not trust them enough, they begin to become bored with the relationship, do not feel that their needs are being met,/considered, or they believe they can find someone else who will "put out".
ReplyDeleteOn some levels I would agree with the article about women being submissive and men being sexually dominant but I would deem this true more so in a high school setting. Sexual peer pressure from males and females have more of an impact on teenager than young adults. In my opinion majority of college women do not mind consenting to early sexual relationships.
-Tiffany Williamson